In the last few years, infidelity cases have been on the rise and are the worst thing in any relationship. When you learn about the circumstances and discover that your partner is still having extramarital affairs, the scenario becomes even worse. But instead of letting go of your relationship, I would recommend reading this post thoroughly. I’m listing 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse and by doing so, you may save your relationship.
I acknowledge that you are emotionally disconnected and that this is difficult for you, but it’s crucial to have questions before taking any further steps. If nothing else, you need to be aware of the reasons behind the relationship’s breakdown that led to the chosen course. Although this is a terrible circumstance, try to gather your courage since perhaps better things are on the way.
Does It Make Sense to Ask Questions to Spouse Who Cheated You?
Of course, it makes sense and is necessary to heal and move forward. Discovering infidelity is a traumatic experience and leaves hundreds of unanswered questions that need to be answered. Though you hadn’t expected that, there may have been a mistake by you that made the scenario worse and your partner took that step.
I wish I was wrong, but all these speculations are only shattered when you ask questions to your unfaithful partner. So, be prepared, be emotionally strong, and ask the questions to your spouse. You can also treat these questions as trick questions to ask a cheater.
10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse
1. What Makes You Cheat
Indeed, the first thing in your mind is “Why?”. Why did your partner cheat on you? Just don’t overthink and ask your spouse. He/She may have any valid reasons (hopefully) to do so. Don’t hesitate and ask this question in repetitive mode if you aren’t satisfied with the answer. With this answer, you will not only get the required answer but also analyze if you can take this relationship further.
2. What Are the Reasons for Doing So
In the first question, you may get the answer for if he/she is interested in you or not. But dig this question deeper and ask for the reasons that create these circumstances that make him/her cheat. If this is a mistake on your end, you may not be able to rebuild this connection, but you can rescue the relationships you have in the future. If it’s feasible, make a note of the reasons—if they are valid—and steer clear of them going forward.
3. How Long Have You Been Cheating on Me
Infidelity is not something that happens suddenly, relationships including external affairs take time to develop, and gain trust. So, asking how long it has been is the right question among the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse. It helps you to realize the time taken by an unfaithful relationship to develop and how you can tackle it in the future.
4. Have You Any Guilt of Cheating
First of all, true relationships never cheat. But if a relationship with emotional attachment is cheated, there are guilty feelings. So, ask bluntly – have you any guilt after cheating with me? Why or why not? Introspection may be necessary if the response is explicitly negative. After all, how can you have been living with someone for so long without feeling guilty about cheating? Also, if the answer is no, I don’t think you should ask any additional inquiries.
5. Specific Moments that Triggered the Infidelity
If you are not getting the exact reason for the cheating by your spouse, ask him/her about the triggered moments when he/she decided to have an external affair. The reason could be your specific behavior, your financial conditions, lack of emotional breakdown, communication issues, any intimacy requirements, etc. By figuring out these reasons, you can reach a conclusion and decide the future of the relationship.
6. How Do You See the Future from Here
Let’s accept it, you are cheated but is there any opportunity to build this relationship? Finding out how they see the future will help you assess whether the goals are along. Do you think you two can unite in the future? If so, how do you foresee that future? Will he/she make the effort to make apologies which will probably require being vulnerable, having patience, and being willing to face difficult truths? Try to assess these questions as they lead to the new future
7. Have You Any Feelings for that Person
External affairs or infidelity in a relationship doesn’t always mean a love for another. The motivations behind the infidelity could be financial gain, leisure, pleasure, or a physical bond. Therefore, it’s a good idea to find out from your spouse whether they have feelings for the person who is having an affair. You can move on with this relationship and give it another go if you don’t feel anything for that person.
8. Have You Cheated on Me Before?
This question is most important to understand to define the personality of your spouse. Ask him/her – have you ever cheated on me before or this is the first time? Also, tell them that you are expecting the truth. You can also ask if he/she ever cheated with anyone else in her life. If the answer is positive then be alert as it could be a sign of the cheating personality of your spouse. If it happens repeatedly, staying in the relationship is not recommended.
9. With Whom You Want to Live
It is among the important 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse that will essentially determine the course of the relationship. Ask him/her to be quite clear before answering the question. If they want, allow them a few moments to think over it. In addition, this response makes it clear whether your spouse wants to stay in the relationship or not. If your partner says they don’t want to live with you, there is nothing you can do, but if they ask for a little while, you can hold out hope and proceed to the final and next question.
10. What Can I Do to Save this Relationship
If you really love your partner and want them back at any cost, don’t be shy to take any positive steps. Ethically and morally, your partner should ask you this question but this is not the time to be egoist. If you think that your partner is a genuine person and has a genuine reason for cheating, you can initiate a step to save your relationship. Ask them what makes them cheat, what is missing in your relationship, and what can you do to save the relationship. If both of you are filled with love, there will be a solution.
What if My Spouse Lies?
There are chances that your spouse is still not faithful to you and lied to you on asked questions. To know the right answer to your questions, communication is the only way. You can repetitively ask the same question or ask trick questions to ask a cheater. But before this, you must have proper evidence that your spouse is lying.
Not answering specific questions or remaining silent, taking long pauses while answering, or thinking too much, etc are signs that your spouse probably lying to you. In this case, you have to repeat the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse that we have listed here.
One thing must be noted here the more you both have communication, the easier is to balance the relationship. Also, in this scenario when you find that your spouse is lying, having evidence to prove that might be helpful.
What if My Partner Won’t Answer My Questions?
This is something a bigger issue to be addressed if your spouse doesn’t answer your questions. There could be two reasons why a spouse does not answer the question – Guilt and a desire for separation. You must have to analyze and try to resolve this situation in both ways.
If your partner is not answering due to the guilt, he/she is supposed to feel it and you can ask if your partner has any guilt and have no courage to answer. But there is also a second scenario when your spouse is more inclined to the person for whom he/she cheated with you. In this case, no trick questions and unfaithful questions are work.
You both have to mutually decide if they want to end this relationship or not want to go with it. Remember, this situation could be emotional, so be ready to handle it either way especially if you aren’t willing the relationship in this way.
Can Counseling Help in Infidelity
So, after asking 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse, you found your spouse guilty but still want to save this relationship anyhow? In this case, counseling or therapy may help you to overcome this situation but this situation could be different for couples. Counseling may not work for a couple it works for another.
If your partner also wants to save this relationship and find a little spark, then you can go with counseling help. But your alone determination is not going to resolve or save your relationship, a mutual understanding and intention is necessary to save the relationship.
In most cases, when there is room for mingling, couples heal and move on with the relationship but as I said this case could be different for every couple. Also, if you both mutually decide to go for counseling, head to the reputed counselors only, and be honest when answering the questions.
Conclusion
Trust is the foundation for healthy relationships. Infidelity is the biggest obstacle in a relationship and the reason behind this varies from person to person. Regardless of the cause, you have a right to know what led to your partner’s infidelity in your lovely relationship.
The answers to the cheating can be found if you are ready for 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse. We have also shared a few trick questions to ask a cheater that may help you to analyze the relationship. You are going to develop a better understanding of the cause and potential resolution with each response to these questions.
